Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Wise Men Dare Trek There...Internet Trolls and Politics

It's almost December everyone and we all know what that means! Christmas! Er...Holidays, wait that might be part of some pseudo Illuminati conspiracy and Justin Trudeau is bringing refugees around that time so our way of life as we know it is coming to an end!

Sound familiar? If it does, then you most likely have visited an internet forum or like any other human being, joined an online discussion regarding one or many of a multitude of possible topics.

The most recent federal election showed us an example of how old can become new again with the Red Wave bringing "real" change to Canadians and ousting long past his best before date Stephen Harper and his Conservatives. With it though, many Canadians witnessed the odd and often annoying power of the Online Troll, the agitator, keyboard warrior or plain and simple son of a bitch!

Trudeau brought back the 90's with the Liberal Red Surge

Urban Dictionary defines an Online Troll as:

A person whose sole purpose in life is to seek out people to argue with on the internet over extremely trivial issues. Such arguments can happen on blogs, Facebook, MySpace and a host of others.
The best thing you can do to fight an internet troll is to not answer..or report them.  

During the election, we all witnessed a strong and confident Thomas Mulcair with what looked to be a continuation if not tsunami forming from the previous Orange Wave. Then something happened, Stephen Harper took his traditional anti-liberal attack ads strategy, put it into a corner and dialed in the number for the "football", which we would later be discussing as the great Niqab debate of 2015.

What started as a campaign against the darkness, fighting to liberate Canada from a Prime Minister and his party of corrupt and deranged ministers, very quickly became a YOU VS. ME match regarding Canadian values and the apparent rebellious stance of a Muslim woman, who up to that point was as much of a nobody as you or I!

Hark! Hark! The Trolls be coming...and with that we witnessed a storm of discussion that not only kept people up at night, but brought out everyone's darkest fears and attitudes. All because of a piece of cloth utilized by a minority. Never mind that Canadian children go to bed and then school hungry, never mind that those same kids have a higher than ever chance of dropping out and living a life on the system. Or you know..that the world around them is heating up due to man made climate change and that everything as we know it is rapidly changing for possibly the worst. No, never mind all of that because instead we had to worry about a piece of cloth that someone decided not to take off during her citizenship oath and in doing so, destroyed the chances of our best bet from being elected.

Instead, we allowed ourselves to be overcome by the words of the few online and in the media, who brought out our worst fears and allowed us to run away from imaginary monsters. It was almost as if Canada experienced a group think similar to the Rwandan genocide (Thank God it didn't escalate to the same level). Neighbor's and family members turned on each other as they discussed political stances and what was perceived as the appropriate Canadian value that explained why the Niqab debate was either valid or invalid.

My thanksgiving much like many others involved a heated discussion on the stupidity being witnessed during the election and the proper solution to it all. What eventually came from this debate is strategic campaign tactics that took a fresh face selling change, while in reality putting a new face on a familiar and old dynamic in Canadian politics. Canadians voted for change, but simply fell for the same old back and forth politics that have plagued this country for generations. And unfortunately, it will most likely lead to many once again becoming apathetic about the politics process if the elected kid doesn't really watch out and stick to his promises (Which, so far he has to a certain extent).

This discussion really emphasizes though the power of the changing world we live in. No longer is the media the most influential source for news in our society as we have social media in general and Facebook specifically giving us information that can directly impact our stance on important topics. What I have found during my time reading over comments is that it often does not require much effort on the behalf of an Online Troll to bring out the emotion in others, which in turn can lead to very illogical and drastic responses, example in point being the sudden fear of refugees because they are all terrorists and will bomb us. Another good one is the: We need to bring back the death penalty because these criminals don't deserve to be considered human! 

With society relying more heavily on social media and the internet, one has to wonder how our election process will change in the near future. Will politicians in the making need to remove their personal lives from the internet as a whole? Or will we be seeing a new level of glossy, presentation oriented and fake candidates emerging as their glass house becomes much larger?

More importantly, how will the perception of the electorate change when the information they are utilizing on a daily basis remains vulnerable to the wills of Online Trolls and political agitators? While social media and the internet has allowed people to become more informed are they really well informed?

Only time will tell...

Until Next Time!

Friday, 2 October 2015

Buying a Gun

Right about now in America, a gun store owner is unlocking his door, a hot coffee sits by his cash as he begins a new day. 

Not to long after, customers will begin pouring in to look at and begin the process of purchasing a gun. 

No doubt that some if not the majority of these people will be doing so out of fear from yesterday's tragic, yet increasingly common mass shooting in Oregon. 

This fear that this gun owner, mainly like white and middle class, is experiencing though is not due to the atrocities that occurred, but mainly due to the ripple that might stem from said atrocities. That ripple is the talk about gun control. 

Yes, this American will most likely be purchasing as much ammunition and arms as his budget will allow, because like with ever other shooting, gun control becomes a hot topic as it should and Americans and the NRA prop up the fear machine and increase sales 10 fold. 

This will happen for a few weeks at the minimum and then things will calm down and people will return to a semi normal, until another gun in an American hand is turned on his brothers and sisters and the cycle continues. 

What is left... But a lot of scared people, money in cash registers at gun shops and a smiling NRA, who know exactly what to say next. 

The biggest terrorists in America today aren't Arab or Muslim, they are in gauges and are purchased in packs of 20,40 and 100. The biggest terrorists in America today are bullets. 

Raise your voice!

Thursday, 1 October 2015

How to make Marijuana legal if Stephen Harper wins...

Today is going to be a what if kind of day. No, I do not think Stephen Harper has a chance at retaining his role as Prime Minister, but if for some chance he does, you know what immediately happens next: Bill C-51 gets beefed up and Marijuana remains illegal, or does it? 

Let's get one thing straight, I do not partake in the use of marijuana, but I do see the potential benefit it poses of legalized, mainly in tax revenue, which any government can benefit from. This makes me unbiased in my personal views, since I do not pass judgement on those who do use it, but also do not agree that it should be made available to minors. Anyways, we have all heard these arguments before... So to my plan! 

Many Conservatives take part in the recreational use of drugs, if they deny it they are out right lying. I mean some of the things they do and say would be hard to imagine being possible without some drug use.

If marijuana users really want to push their agenda then they need to start playing the game by removing the counter culture and assimilating into the general Conservative culture. 

This can be done via a number of different ways, but the easiest would be to lobby the Cons AS Cons! 

You heard me correctly, as we know this current Prime Minister will go above and beyond what the majority of Canadiand(Cons) want! 

If the marijuana activists simply began supporting Conservatives by going to rallies and associating The Conservative Party as a cool one with pot and bring with them the numbers, Harper will jump at the opportunity to balance his budget and appease his new "supporters."

I will provide further clarification of needed, but take a moment and just think about you pot heads you! 

Politicians appease their supporters and that is a good and bad thing!

Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Last nights debate was a real stick in the Munk!

Last nights Munk debates featured a less than thought provoking discussion on Canada's place in the world. 

The debate became so bad, that the candidates basically yelled at each other over who panders more to the requests of the United States. 

Granted that the U.S. plays a big role on the international scene, while being located right next to them geographically doesn't help the argument against such chatter, our party leaders really dropped the ball when it came to offering ways of improving Canada's image. 

In order to properly give light to the very points that support the atrocity that was labelled a debate, I am going to list each leader and their pros and cons from last night.

Stephen Harper: 
Being the Prime Minister, we can look at Harper first. While last night gave him the chance to make amends and explain his actions or lack of, the Prime Minister played typical politics and did his best to say well nothing. 

Most of the Prime Ministers words were the repetition of the same old grey facts that have been used this entire election. Creating the appearance that all is well with Canada and that the current government offers stability. 

What Harper failed to a achieve was back any of his statements with facts. An unfortunate trend that has been common throughout this election and over the past 10 years of his leadership.

His overall appearance came off as the sane one, which says a lot in a debate that really offered no new ideas towards solutions.

Justin Trudeau:

The Liberal leader made a point of coming out of the gates strong and making reference to his father, who did a lot for Canada in terms of international affairs and sovereignty. 

I really enjoyed the respect he showed his father on the anniversary of his passing. What I didn't enjoy, was how he continuously focused attacks on Thomas Mulcair and made Stephen Harper look like a sane and stable choice! Justin at least fell into Harpers trap a minimum of 5 times last night and you know what, Harper smirked and loved every bit of it. So much so that he let him talk as long as possible without batting an eye, then calmly walked in and repeated the same Conservative koolaid facts that he has all election. What's scarier is that at many points in the debate, it actually worked. 

The audience was either paid to be there and clap for every Conservative point or were party volunteers, which was another beef I had withy this debate as it took away from the seriousness of it all. 

Justin made mention to valid points, but his attacking did nothing but further split the left vote, which helps Harper and hurts all of us!

Thomas Mulcair: 

While Mulcair had the most to lose last night, he did well in terms of rationally explaining what the NDP has done and how that will translate if they gain power. His explanations were in point, but I find he spent too much time correcting Trudeau, instead of directly beating the crap out of Harper, which further split the left vote!

Overall, I feel the Munk debates did nothing but benefit Harpers chance at a minority government survival, when in reality his party deserves to be decimated for the inaction and poor guidance they have excercized, which has inevitably hurt Canada's image on the international scene.

The leaders on the left did nothing to further build on this and instead attacked each other. Meanwhile, Elizabeth May excercized excellent fact checking and tact, but only through tweets since her presence was not permitted at the actual debate, which does a disservice to all Cansdians.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Adult Assembly Required: To Vote the Candidate or the Party!?

It's currently September 15 and we are just over a month from "E Day", a day that will determine the fate of our current Prime Minister and could/will essentially either correct or drastically change the direction of our country depending on which paradigm of thought you prescribe to.

While this election has been the longest and while many different issues have come to the surface either by design or as a result of world events, we are now getting a better picture as to where the different political parties stand and more importantly how their candidates are handling the election.

Like many other elections, one question should be on your mind and if it isn't you're not paying enough attention! Do I vote for the party I like or do I vote for the candidate that I like?

This should be easy though right? I mean, you like the party and obviously the candidate supports the party, so that makes sense? Yes, this may seem like a simplistic non-issue, but what happens when the party makes grandiose claims, but the candidate just stinks or has a political history that doesn't live up to the party?

Here in Hamilton for example, we have an ex-mayor running as a Liberal contender in the election against a seasoned NDP incumbent and a Conservative social butterfly. To make things more interesting, said ex-mayor used to be a radio star in Hamilton, making his name well known among many older residents. 

This candidate is definitely riding the Trudeau wave in an attempt to convince voters that real change is possible, but to those who have been following his own political career, they might question just how invested he is in change. Since, while in office, he was notoriously known as being a status quo, hard to work with controversial figure, who really didn't promote the city until after he was confirmed as on the radar of Justin Trudeau.  

His Conservative rival on the other hand is socially known throughout the riding and as such has garnered support based on her name from individuals who are either within her circle or close to it, however her party is under a lot of fire since it's leader, Stephen Harper, has done a lot of controversial things over his time in power. 

Either way, this does raise important questions not only about politics in general, but also the way in which our current system is organized. One true aspect that I have come to realize from working in elections in the past is that there are many times where the right candidate is not chosen for the job. Now, what we determine "right" is definitely based on perspective, but this may also answer why so many people have become both cynical and apathetic toward voting and elections in general.

If parties come out with strong platforms, yet recruit horrible candidates or candidates, which quite easily could put a room to sleep, while robbing their wallets. How do we expect to engage more youth and more important maintain the engagement of the electorate? Frankly, many politicians want you to not vote, since the incumbent will directly benefit 99% of the time when voting numbers are low or decreasing.

With a changing world, many of the institutions we have come to cement into our society are becoming increasingly vulnerable and require either updating or an entire evolution in order to further secure them. Elections and the electorate are not separate from this change or the requirements it brings with it.

One dominant change would easily be the rise of social media, which not only has changed our ways of communication, but also gives the electorate another avenue with which to view candidates and judge them. Politics puts you into a glass house, which is why shaming in elections grants results. Recent incidents regarding candidates from all three of the major parties further supports this as their online conversations, became the centre of public attention and essentially led to their resignations. Now, whether all of these resignations were justified is debatable, but in all of the examples, party leaders made sure to protect their brand image by enforcing it and removing candidates who could be viewed as troublesome.

What do you think? Do you weigh more on the side of the party's image and it's leader or the candidate in your riding? 

Remember to watch the upcoming debate Thursday evening!

Until Next Time!

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Stephen Harper's Broken Mirror

The federal election has so far formulated a strong offensive toward the Conservative Party of Canada, specifically Harper's Conservatives, as we have come to understand our current government as.

Stephen Harper has made it very easy for his opponents and the majority of Canadians to exercise their right to target him and show disdain for his words as much as they do his policies. Again, much of this can easily be explained as a result of a series of Constitutional and Rights no nos. I wont get into to much detail about that though, since I feel I am contributing to the beating of the same old dead horse, since almost everyone by now should understand and feel anger for these past gaffs on the Prime Minister's behalf.

The real reason I wanted to write this post is because I am beginning to feel some sympathy (Albeit minor) for the guy! It is more evident in latest news segments than ever before that the negativity directed to Stephen Harper has become almost something of a political stigma. You can clearly see it in his eyes, the man is not sleeping at night and for good reason. Between his fears of ISIS attacking to the outright protest his party is receiving from average Canadians, I am sure he has come to the realization that this election will most likely not end well in his favor.

Granted, we are currently in a historic election as this is one of the longest running campaigns in Canadian history, but I believe that this will simply become a foot note in the history books as it leads to the birth of an NDP majority government in Ottawa. As seen through political trending the world over, the majority of western countries are turning to parties further on the left in a bid to combat measures that have resulted in severe austerity and major uncertainty among the working class. It isn't surprising that Canadians, much like their European, Asian and American counterparts in turn are looking to the left/socialist parties to support them, since these parties seem to be the only ones actually working toward helping the average Joe, as opposed to focusing on the rich, whom are often considered the job creators and as such deserve it.

No, Stephen Harper's mirror at home is one that is shattered, since every time he looks into it he has to witness not only the reality of the situation, but also what he has become and will essentially leave behind. That is a country that no longer mirrors its past traditions and as such is at a stand still among the world stage. A country that at one time was a resource based powerhouse and a force for peace and understanding internationally. No, unfortunately, Stephen Harper has changed Canada, much like he has changed himself into something else. Something that resembles more a creation born of American style politics and Neoliberalism.

One thing that no one can deny Harper though...he has maintained a strong control over his party and both the information and questions related to it. Unfortunately for him though, this will most likely lead to the historic rise of the NDP to power, accompanied by a Liberal opposition led by Justin Trudeau.

We may be offering Harper hugs soon enough once this election is over and maybe then, he will come to the realization that even after spending as much time and money as he did to deny reality, it came around anyways and gave him a crude awakening.

Until Next Time!

Thursday, 20 August 2015

Politics and Technology

I wonder if in the future politicians will just post their credentials on social media during an election, much like we currently do on sites like Tinder. Then the electorate will just swipe left or right based on who they like for the job.

Party platforms, emotional contributions and expressions of care limited not by the audience, but by a character limit of 189.

What happens when we further allow the events of close to home to be broadcast for the world to see online?

A social engineering continued to allow not only Canadians, but the world to partake in the affairs of an election.

After all...we all have to eat, we all have to sleep, almost all of us pay taxes and as such we all care for our families. I would hope everyone wishes to avoid corruption and accepts the promotion of a free and fair system, but who knows really.

Yes...a day when our technology becomes so secure, so advanced that even our elections, as fragile as they are, become the next client of some social media giant. Would probably cost a lot less to implement, when you ignore the fees imposed contractually by whomever hosts the software.

Maybe this is our (un)natural progression required to become the people of science fiction, like a stepping stone closer to Star Trek and a world united.

What do you think? 

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Federal Election/Star Wars

I thought I would take the Star Wars/Federal Election 2015 crossover and have some fun with it.

Please spread around with your friends and enjoy! :P

And of course...

"If elected, I will increase the number of reserves to 30,000."

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

3 Topics that (Probably) Wont Be Discussed This Election

One thing I want to straighten out with everyone is why I am not a fan of Stephen Harper. People wonder why Harper gets so much flak and what basis this attack has in general. What most people do not realize and what I have come to understand as my major beef with the Prime Minister is how he utilizes fear and the uncertainty it creates in Canadians in order to side step major issues that frankly aren't being dealt with. So much so, that every time you see a new attack ad or a new speech from the Prime Minister, you are witnessing time wasted that could be used to discuss important topics that are currently affecting Canadians and impacting our economy.

So...I wanted to make mention of some of these important topics and give them some attention as their importance does not disappear as a result of Harper's constant fear mongering.


Time and again we have heard and will once again hear Stephen Harper argue that a vote for him is a vote for economic stability and prosperity. Yet, we as a collective in Canada have seen little to nothing done in order to combat the major issue of poverty affecting people living in this country aside from small initiatives that continue to waste money discussing options that seem like they might work.

No real platform has been established by any party really that aims to actually defeat poverty. Justin Trudeau makes mention of growing the middle class and protecting them, yet I doubt we will see exactly how he plans to do this aside from cutting taxes and improving services made available to working Canadians.

What we definitely will not see in the coming months is any talk about growing our middle class know shrinking our low income class and working poor in Canada. This would require all three parties to commit to the promotion of a living wage and employment that actually allows people to raise a family and have enough money to buy other words stimulate the economy.

No, most likely we will witness talk about how the NDP will bankrupt the country with its social programs and how Justin will ruin the economy with his inexperience since this type of work requires experience and not an entry level bum or socialists, which is sad.

 Meanwhile, many forget that Harper was once an entry level Prime Minister who had no problem taking a surplus economy and running it straight into the ground by making the very economic bets that led to the recession of 2008. No one saw the recession coming he says, but everyone knows you don't put all your eggs in one oil barrel.

Stephen Harper will for sure run on the premise that his government has created a slew of jobs, when in reality these jobs have been nothing more than the replacement of good work with low paying service positions.

Green Technology:

While you will hear more about carbon taxation in the coming months and a lot of buzz attacking it from the Conservatives, you will most likely not hear anything about actual efforts to combat the destruction of our environment.

No, most of this chatter will continue to rely on the broken system we are currently living in, where we strictly talk about oil as if it is the chosen child and do everything we can to avoid making mention of improving the technology of renewable energy sources and you know tying the economy into it as well.

Unfortunately, the economy and the environment will remain two separate issues, when in reality many people understand that they are nothing close to that.

While we should be hearing our parties discussing how to create a good paying "Made in Canada" solution to the problem, we will instead hear about the horrible consequences of carbon taxation. Which really is sad, because the world over is currently investigating ways to make solar panel technology and turbine technology much more efficient and cost effective and instead of supporting some excellent home grown initiatives here, our government has instead cut funding to many of these research projects. So, we for sure will not be hearing about the possibility of socializing climate change in an effort to really push the technology and ideas needed to affect real change.

Mental Illness:

Canada still lacks a proper mental health initiative that spans system wide. I could spend a multitude of days discussing the importance of said initiative and type until my laptop is dust, but what it comes down to is the fact that there are Canadians suffering and in need of proper help and because they lack this assistance and the proper research behind it, our country is entering a stage where our jails and prisons are becoming increasingly utilized as a next resort. Crime rates are decreasing, but those suffering from mental illness are still doing so without the necessary assistance.

And still...noone will mention this during a debate or even have the balls to run on a platform that does anything to combat it.

The first party to mention all three of these items should win the election by default?

What do you think?

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Stop Harperection 2015: Who to Vote For!

So...unsurprisingly Stephen Harper has officially dropped the writ over the long weekend and is now in fighting mode to remain top dog, in Canada.

The latest poll shows the NDP with a rather large margin ahead of the Conservatives, while the Liberals are still trying to pick up all the pieces after the barrage of bombings from the Justin Trudeau Ads continues. These polls, while very early in the game, will most likely not change much throughout the entire election. That is, unless Trudeau and his team can pull off enough hail Mary's and win major riding's. These riding's will most likely be in urban left leaning cities or as the media calls them...Toronto.

Predicting an election, much like calling out who you think is the best to vote for is difficult in even the best circumstances. Each party has pros and cons attached to them that make them attractive to certain voters and distasteful to others.

This election will bring with it deja vu from the most recent Ontario election, where Kathleen Wynne rallied enough support to look past her errors and defeat the boogeyman Tim Hudak. The question that remains now is what happens when the boogeyman also has a strong list of errors associated with his performance and is utilizing the same tactic? Harper is already preaching to the masses that a vote for him is a vote for stability during uncertain times. Times where other countries are on the rebound and our economy has decided to take a roller coaster drop.

The most important objective for any of the three main parties would be to rally the support for the undecided/non-voters from last election and trust me there were many. That group alone could give any of the parties a huge majority if they were mobilized in their favor.

As for me, I would personally advise that the removal of Stephen Harper from office is the ultimate goal of this election. This will ultimately require a change in voting styles dependent on where you live.

If you happen to live in a riding where a Liberal incumbent holds power, vote Liberal, if you live in an NDP zone, vote NDP. If you live in a riding where its a close race between either the Liberals and NDP with the Conservatives, then you have some research to do on political trends in the past and current numbers to decide who will reign victorious over Harper.

The most important thing Canadians need to remember during this election is that Harper is going to do everything he can to ensure his team scares the crap out of you considering a Liberal or NDP vote and if possible will stop you from voting, either by making you sick to your stomach over his stupid ads or by making you so apathetic that you decide to stay in and watch TV on election night and not vote at all.

I will most likely be voting NDP in the Hamilton East-Stoney Creek riding as our NDP incumbent is not only a solid politician, but one who cares about those he serves and about the legacy he leaves behind for future Canadians.

Until Next Time for more election discussion!

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Something Scary Happened 3 Days Ago...

A few days ago I posted this link on to correspond with my blog entry and make a point about the state of affairs in the Canadian job market, but also in our leadership.

What still makes me feel uneasy is the direct feelings that went through me when I was about to click confirm and actually make the link go live. A sense of fear and uneasiness took over as I began thinking of the strong possibility that I would either get into a lot of trouble or be arrested for posting this job advertisement for my blog.

Looking back on those feelings of 3 days ago, I have reinforced the reality that is Canada in 2015. The very fact that I had to second guess my actions and fear physical persecution in a country that believes in freedom of speech and transparency among its elected officials is ridiculous.

Not to mention...who am I that my words are strong enough to gain the attention of the Prime Minister or his campaign party?

This intense feeling and insecurity is what I believe has paralyzed not only the Canadian political system in general, but the ability of average Canadians to have their voices heard and thus partake in the political system.

We get this feeling that our elected officials and those running to be elected are somehow superstars or people above us that often times leads us to show a great amount of respect, but why? Why should I as a free Canadian feel afraid to speak my voice and use the written word to make a point? (Bill C-51).

Furthermore, why should we as Canadians not take part in the political system more often and discuss it in more detail? (Money, lack of employment stability, fear, Bill-C51 & Stephen Harper).

I wish I had the opportunity to speak with Stephen Harper personally over a coffee, because while he may be the nicest guy in the world on a personal level, I really just want to break down the reasoning for so much of his actions, which are most likely symptoms of utter fear.

I don't know...what do you all think? Do you feel comfortable voicing your political opinions online or in public with your face and your name? Have you felt this insecurity regarding your freedom of opinion and voice?

Until Next Time...

Thursday, 30 July 2015

And...We're Off!

Short entry to compliment the buzz generated by almost every Canadian media outlet in the country.

"Stephen Harper planning to draw out election in order to defeat opponents."

With the consistent and annoying attack ads directed at Justin Trudeau...who isn't ready, I just cannot help but imagine what money exchanges are going on between Conservative PR bullies and the media, I mean the way people are characterizing the Conservatives is as if they have this grand war chest and are a force to be reckoned with!

Listen...I don't know where everyone thinks they are from, but this is Canada folks not the United States and aside from what Stephen Harper thinks he has been able to accomplish in order to make up more like our neighbours to the south, in the end, it will be the people who speak their voice and the people who take him down as we elect a government that cares about Canadians.

"Ask yourself where you are, where you want to be and if your government is heading in the same direction."

Then on October 19th vote and make sure to show the world that Canada is keeping it real, because no amount of money can guide the winds of change.

Good Night! 

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Seeking Prime Minister (Non Entry Level Position)

The government of Canada is currently seeking a Prime Minister to resume the responsibilities of good governance and leadership for the citizens of this great country. Located on Parliament Hill, the successful applicant will assume the role of Prime Minister, with an obligation to travel where necessary in order to service the will and needs of the government.

A little bit of information about Canada: 
  • Population of roughly 33 million people
  • Located geographically north of the United States of America
  • Renowned for being a supporter of peace initiatives around the world
  • Previously a member in good standing among the United Nations
  • In Possession of vast lands of beautiful wildness and abundant supplies of fresh water 
  • Hockey

Responsibilities of the role:

As Prime Minister, the successful candidate will complete all necessary administrative functions of the position and any other functions that become relevant to the completion of daily tasks. These functions include and are not limited to:
  • Having your mail directed to you and read aloud in your presence (Subject to personal discretion as current Prime Minister usually just pretends mail doesn't exist, resulting in it being stored in a community mail box and left unread).
  • Arrange meetings with subordinates regarding overall performance and recommend measures for improvement (Also discretionary as current Prime Minister enjoys taking out a pen and creating his own numbers, what you say is true often ends up being true if you say it enough times).
  • Discuss with consultants regarding important trends and topics that affect the quality of life and safety of Canadians (This one requires some work for the new guy as currently only the happiness of billion dollar corporations and total supreme control over everything in the country is being employed).
  • Attend events and display leadership with confidence and authority (Also in need of improvement as heavy scripting and fear are the current methods being utilized).
  • Assist in the good governance of this great country by supporting those serving in the public service and providing a good example of work ethic (Not to be confused with using tax payer money in order to personally fund individuals in your MY10 due to their financial troubles).
  • Defend your decisions with organized and professional reasoning that is transparent and balanced (Subject to change as current reasoning or thought process of incumbent classified).
  • Entertain foreign leaders and attend summits in foreign lands representing the best interests of Canada and the stability of the world stage (In other words, do more than just saying: Putin out of Ukraine!...meow).

The successful candidate will encompass the following qualifications for the position:
  • An undergraduate degree in Political Science, Peace Studies, Economics or Business accompanied by a law degree from an established Canadian school. In the absence of these, a lot of money from either your bank account or your families, if not...then know people who have a lot of money and are willing to donate or else this isn't going to work. You can't say I'm Prime Minister without having a lot of money!
  • Positive attitude with a professional and balanced perception of the world and its actors.
  • Friendly image with the ability to gain the confidence of those around you with ease (Or just have a lot of money to "convince" them you're good to go).
  • Ability to kiss babies and shake hands considered a great asset. 
  • Strong oratory considered a great asset, however not mandatory as the current Prime Minister reads off a script  reinforced with the notion that not listening to him will most likely get you killed by ISIS. 
  • Ability to smile and nod to a group of individuals reinforcing that your work will assist them while understanding that their children will be paying for the horrible acts you have committed. 
  • Thick skin with ability to take criticism from multiple sources. Accompanied with this would be very strong customer service skills in order to assure your subordinates that you actually care about what they think...almost as much as you care about what the people you were speaking to think as mentioned in the point above. 

While the government of Canada thanks all applicants, we would like to remind you that only those applicants seen fit for the position or for whom enough money has been committed will be contacted for an interview. The government of Canada is an employer committed to equality in the work place, if you are a member of a minority group or have a disability, please specify in your application as your chances of being selected, while dim, will require much more money in order for you to be considered.

To apply please send application to The Political Road Map Prime Minister hiring committee and be sure to add in the position in your subject title along with a general estimate of how much money you currently possess. 

Deadline for applications will be Monday October 19th, 2015 at 8:00PM. This date may be subject to change based on the current guy and will most likely cost Canadians millions as a result for no particular reason or benefit.

For more information please visit in order to view the posting in its original format.